Friday, December 27, 2013


                            CREATIVE BUNDLING

     Just imagine if you could bundle all the good parts of your life into one package and pay a nominal monthly fee. The trick with bundling is that if you get four of the five services you want, you have to pay for one or two that you don’t need, so the bundling price that sounded so great initially becomes a giant scam. My bundling package would not succumb to such underhanded tactics. It might carry a higher monthly service charge, but you would only get and pay for the things you want.

     Here are a some special bundling packages:

GUY BUNDLING

 One present love resource 
 Two past loves that you’d like to have available occasionally but not daily
 One celebrity heart-throb who you could call upon when you’re having a great hair day
 A monthly 20-minute date with the guy who made you moan.
    $24.73/month

WOMAN BUNDLING

 One present love resource
 Fourteen past loves that you’d like to fondle occasionally but not have to deal with the fallout
 One celebrity heart-throb who you could call when you’re feeling like Adonis
 A monthly 20-minute date with the woman who made you feel like a million dollars.

$29.86/month

CHILDREN BUNDLING

 All present resources behaving and quiet
 A children’s tech room that would appear one hour a day with a push of a button
 A free exclusively-for-you only babysitter who would give each of them individual attention 
 A magic button you could push to suspend them in time at whatever stage you like

$59.25/month


FRIEND BUNDLING
   
A BFF whose loyalty is incomparable
A guy friend who would tell you all the secrets you need to know about what makes men tick
A circle of friends who would always make you laugh
A contact list of strangers who would listen to you vent about any topic and go away never to be seen again

$46.29/month


DOMESTIC BUNDLING

 A flat rate under $1000/month price for mortgage, insurance, car, groceries and clothing.
 A place where you could trade in any material item for 95% of its value
 A car that would never break down, and a maid that would work on call whenever you needed her for whatever you could afford to pay her at that time
 A landscape/gardner who would maintain your property in exchange for homemade chocolate chip cookies and fish tacos

$71.11/month


     All fees would be deducted from your checking account, and if there wasn’t enough to cover them, you could defer them to an ex-lover/friend/stranger by hitting the “forward” key.

     These bundling packages would be available at the above prices for a minimum of ten years with no adjustments. Qualified applicants must be halitosis and body odor-free.