Sunday, January 19, 2014


                                                YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

     A woman I met recently was spouting off about the wage gap--the whole glass ceiling issue. I never worked in corporate America so I never personally experienced men making more money in my field than me. In education, no one makes any money so it’s basically a moot point. “Au contraire,” some might say. “What about that History teacher who was coach of three teams? He made almost six figures last year?” Six figures for a 97-hour-a-week job? omg. That’s humbling. I admit I didn’t have the muscle tone to coach the varsity football team or the stamina to lead the men’s wrestling team to the state championship, but I did have equal opportunity to coach the Forensics team and sponsor the National Honor Society. (Does that still exist? I know they banned it in Congress).

     To me, the wage gap hits me hardest at home in front of my budget sheet. There is  definitely a sink hole between my pension/social security income and my lifestyle which continues to mimic that of the rich and famous. It’s the “entitlement” mentality that was planted in my head at age five by my wealthy aunt from Traverse City. She kept telling me every few months when she would buy me a shiny new pair of patent leather Mary Janes, three new dresses and an occasional Shirley Temple doll,  “You deserve it, sweetheart.”

     This “deserving” mentality gets me in much trouble to this day. For example, the other day, we decided to lease a new vehicle. Having leased luxury cars (because we can’t afford to actually buy them, and because I deserve a new ride every 36 months) for the past several years, I decided to lower my lease payment and move down the luxury ladder.This was a humbling experience. We’ve already discussed the “you-are-a-woman-you-are-stupid-car-salesman-routine,” so beyond that, it begged the question: What can I buy that looks luxurious but isn’t for at least $200 less per month? Good luck with that. TMALSS (to make a long story short--that’s hip text language for old farts),
I bought a hot new black bitch that shines like my Mary Janes of old, and she’s sitting proudly in our garage next to the weed killer. (wish it were next to the weed, but that’s for another day). So what?

     So, I’ve lowered my payments by $146.38 per month; we’re getting five (count ‘em FIVE) miles more per gallon already (in two days), and I plan to put a tiny tattoo on the left rear fender that says “Fifi’s Hot Wheels.”

     Now to do something about my Visa bill. I deserve more reward points for all the purchases I make, and I honestly believe I deserve a bonus for paying cash, as retailers can’t keep my personal identity safe. (I’m not sure who would want my identity lol) After examining the budget carefully, robbing from the insurance fund to pay the Victoria Secret bill, I’ve determined that I deserve more than the usual $3.46 left over at the end of each month. I am thinking about coaching a second grade Fashion for Fun class to earn some extra stash.