Friday, January 24, 2014

                                        THE “C” GENERATION

The Greatest Generation (1916-1936)
The GGs worked at one company until they retired and believed that sex was reserved for marriage.  Their favorite celebrity was Frank Sinatra, and their favorite music was anything played by white people. New technology let them vaporize entire cities. 
Sinatra? White? What were they thinking?

The Baby Boomers (1946-1964)
The BBs work at one company until they get laid off, and then they work at another company. Their idea of sex is “Free love, man.” Their favorite celebrity is Robert Redford, and their music, anything played by British people. New technology let them hit a golf ball on the moon.
Golf is God to these people.

The Generation X (1965-1980)
The Gen-Exers work at three different companies at once with no health benefits. Speaking of sex, “That’s how you get AIDS!” Their favorite celebrity is Michael Jackson, and their music is anything played by people from Seattle. New technology allows them to speak loudly in grocery store lines.
My youngest daughter gave up grocery shopping for Lent. I say, if you can’t join ‘em, just BEAT IT!

The Millenials (1981-2000)
Millenials sell stuff on Ebay and Craig’s List. Sex: “They’re in seventh grade and haven’t done it yet?” Favorite celebrity is Keyboard Cat, and their favorite music is anything played by men wearing eyeliner. Technology allows them to promote their crappy band to thousands of online “friends.”
I wish I could be in seventh grade again. smh

Wtf? What happened to my generation? The “S” Generation. (1937-1945) Some say it stands for “Silent,” and others say it’s the “Sandwich” Generation. We were born in between the GGs and the BBS. We aren’t even represented on the charts, fps! 

I would say we are the “C” Generation: Confused. We couldn’t understand why we had to wait to do it, so those who “went all the way” felt guilty, and those who didn’t were prudes and lived to regret it. Like our parents, we stayed in the same profession until we were bought out or leveraged out, but we couldn’t understand how this could happen. We had to find the strength to regroup and stand tall. Losing a job was shameful.Au contraire, we may be the last generation to enjoy a pension. Our favorite celebrity was Johnny Carson, and our music was anything our parents didn’t like. We embrace soul. We enjoyed such technological advances as toasters whose bread went down without pushing anything and cassette recorders where we could hear things more than once by simply pushing rewind. We were taught to keep our mouths shut if something upset us, never interrupt, not to brag, never to argue with our elders and not burp, fart or pick our noses in public. No wonder we were confused. We don’t understand why we never see anything but the tops of our granchildren’s heads.
Extinct is the new Confused

P.S.  What all the generations missed out on from the world of the Confused:
hair rollers
Pat Boone
leisure suits
leg warmers
Peyton Place
cigarette lighters
diet pills
malted milk balls
autograph hounds
white bucks with powder