Monday, January 13, 2014

                                                         WHO WERE THE REAL STARS?

     Any woman who decides to become an actress is fair game for scrutiny.The Golden Globe awards is fodder for feminine judgment.Let’s face it, men only want to see cleavage and tatas; whereas, we women are much more discriminating in our ratings.
The following three categories will cover the evening’s event:

  1. Gown Selection or What-were-they-thinking? 
  2. Abiity to articulate/Can anyone speak the English language?
  3. Why Did SHE?HE Win, not me?

     In category Number 1, there seemed to be a disconnect between what flatters and feckless taste.Julia Roberts wore a gown that could double as a waitress uniform at a formal diner. Jennifer Lawrence put on her gown, and someone came and tied her up.Sandra Bullock and Amy Adams were appparently competing to see who could keep her “nichons” from popping out at any second.And, as for the men, was Rob Lowe just scared? 

     Category Number 2 is always a crapshoot.The people you would think could humbly accept the coveted golden phallus are not necessarily those who’ve been around a while. Jacqueline Bisset was either on crack or needs to attend my Toastmaster’s meeting Thursday night.Jennifer Lawrence, one of the youngest, most successful upcoming starlets can deliver a speech like a seventh grader and have it sound like it belongs in the Smithsonian. 

     Category Number 3 is one about which we all snicker regardless of the sex of the loser. When the winner is announced, wouldn’t we just love to know the first sentence uttered in the minds of those left behind? It must kill them to applaud. Robert Redford probably said, “WTF, are they going to wait until a River Runs Through It before I finally get one of these puppies?” Sandra Bullock undoubtedly muttered, “I spent all that time hyperventilating so some inebriated has-been can applaud her Scottish heritage?” Kevin Spacey probably clenched his teeth and said, “They’ll be sorry. I haven’t played my last card yet.”

     Ah, it’s all so phony, but we sit there for three hours glued to the tube waiting to see if our guy got it or if our film was the best.What does it mean if ours wins?It means we are absolutely brilliant and have the most distinguished and discriminating taste.It’s really all about US, n’est-ce pas?