Thursday, January 9, 2014


                                         What you need to know before retiring

  1. People snore in the middle of the night.
  2. People diss you on fb in the wee hours of the morning.
  3. If you sleep on your face, you will develop permanent creases that make you look like a waffle.
  4. If you kick off the covers, you risk chafing on your buttocks.
  5. If you toss and turn, you are guaranteed to kick your cat in the morning.
  6. If you follow your dreams, you could be incarcerated.
  7. If you sleepwalk, you could find yourself having hanky panky with your ugly neighbor.
  8. If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you will need to switch sides.
  9. If you talk loudly in the morning, you may find yourself missing teeth.
  10. If you drink caffeine before bed, you will write wacky essays in the middle of the night, and people will know you are “folle” (mad).