Thursday, February 27, 2014

                                                           GET OVER IT!

     This is what I have been hearing ever since we left home for a month in the sunshine. Friends told us to “get over” the snow, ice, gray and cold. We didn’t, so we left. When we got here to the sunshine, however, I continued to hear this from various people in different contexts.

     The first was the response to my “I-can’t-eat-that--because-I-have-to-appear-on-the-beach.” A cute, fifty-ish waitress in a downtown tavern laughed when I ordered a Caprese salad instead of a juicy hamburger and fries. She said, “Hey, girl, get over it. I have a little tummy here (rubs tummy like it was a prized volleyball). I got a ring in my navel and bought a bikini after looking at all the other women who are bigger than me. Get over it. Life’s too short.”

     A real estate agent recently said, “Get over it. You can’t have everything you want in a house unless you’re a millionaire.I tell clients to figure out how they want to spend their time, and then buy accordingly. Some people want a small house so they can travel; others want the big fancy show-off house where they can entertain. Some want a pool; others prefer the beach. Some want a custom home, and others will be perfectly happy with a cookie-cutter model that leaves them cash to buy sports cars. It’s all what you want and how you want to run your life. At some point, you get over the “I-have-to-have-it-all” and content yourself with what’s best for you.”

     In a recent blog by a 40-year-old who responded to the Victoria Secret Swimsuit Edition catalogue, I recognized that this blogger is already over it. She slammed several versions of the “perfect body” clad in strings and cocktail napkin-sized bikini tops making it very clear that bodies like the ones in the magazine are those of pubescent Barbies who survive on arugula and hummus balls. Life is too short. She’s over it. 

     So this begs the question: Am I “over it?” This is what I’m over:

-being intimidated by obnoxious people who have to brag and whine because they’re so insecure
-feeling guilty about sneaking a bite of Mr. Wonderful’s apple pie
-accomplishing something every friggin’ minute
-trying to keep my hair decent while riding in a convertible
-filling in conversation gaps
-worrying about my next publication
-getting a good night’s rest (what’s a “good night” and who knows how much “rest” you get with your eyes closed? Is there a “rest-ometer?”)
-counting my grapes
-dusting the woodwork
-going out in public with one gel nail chipped
-hummus balls

     Next hurdle:  Going out in public sans make-up. See upcoming blog, “Porn Stars’ Blush”