Friday, March 7, 2014

                                                       MAKING LEMONADE. . .     

     This is one of those weeks when there is so much shit going on, it becomes hilarious! Doesn’t feel funny, but you gotta laugh--otherwise. . . 

     Leaving to visit people whom I haven’t seen for nine years, the logical agenda for most women would be to have their hair done, nails freshly polished, best new outfit to flaunt and small gifts in hand for each friend. Yeah, right. Well, it’s 23 below where I’m going; the wind chill is something from the Antarctic, my hairdresser just canceled my tint and haircut appointment, my nails are a complete disaster after the gels peeled off and left them looking like shriveled rice paper, and my former car lessor is threatening to send my account to the credit bureau because they claim I haven’t paid my last two bills. I haven’t because I sold the friggin’ car two months ago, and they have admitted receiving the funds. Oh, my. BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT. 

     I am an intelligent, creative woman. I can figure this out. Let’s look at the positive side:

  1. Save $80 on hair
  2. Will not catch germs of stylist
  3. Can hide recent flab with huge coat
  4. Can wear hat to hide roots
  5. Ugly boot bargain yesterday will hide toes
  6. Can wear (must wear) gloves to hide nails
  7. Car dealer can go bite himself.
  8. With $80, can buy nicer gift for each friend
  9. Gives me three extra hours today to write hilarious blogs

   Now on the creative remedy issue:

  1. Can carry hot rollers in suitcase 
  2. Can make hair appointment there for less money
  3. Can have nails done there for less money
  4. Can relax and let all hang out under heavy coat
  5. Can take credit case to blond court and let them deal with my logic
  6. Can become expert on stress-related breathing techniques

   It’s all good. I just know they will all recognize and applaud my inner beauty.