Friday, March 28, 2014

                                                             “BULL” MARKET

     Mr. Wonderful talked me into going to a financial seminar yesterday afternoon. I really didn’t want to go. It was a damp, rainy afternoon, and 4:00 is my nap time, but I agreed.(Who knows? This could be worth a nice pair of Ivanka Trumps.)

     We headed to the wine and cheese table where he immediately ordered a Pinot Grigio. wtf. He doesn’t drink. I ordered a Virgin Madras (a pathetic non-alcoholic beverage guaranteed to put one to sleep within minutes). 

     We sat down in the front row ready to hear the magic answer to how we can afford (or justify) our trip to South Africa. The seminar had promised “good news about the economy.”

Here are the highlights:

  1. Fear sells.
  2. Warren Buffett is responsible for moving more natural gas than anyone in the United States.
  3. The government has invested in more than a dozen tech companies that are now bankrupt.
  4. 3-D printing is hot news.
  5. CDs and savings accounts went out with miracle bras.

My reaction:

  1. No shit.
  2. I disagree. I’m married to the person responsible.
  3. Duh.
  4. I thought it was “50 Shades of Gray.”
  5. No one will ever think to look in my accounts then:)

     Maybe you had to have the Pinot to get the “good news” part. I could have stayed home and packed my safari bag. Tomorrow I’m going to put on my lucky polka dot miracle bra and deposit another $13 in my savings account. I’m up to $73.94 after three years of interest on my original $72 investment. I could give that seminar myself.