Monday, April 14, 2014

                                                           Photo Phlucking
     There is a very subtle way of posturing these days as a result of album storage on cell phones. Once someone flashes the first photo in your face, watch out, you’ve been photo phlucked.There is an art to this insidious way of flaunting one’s successes, and some are more adept at it than others. 

     The other night we were out with a few couples, and at one point, one man whipped out his cell with his daughter’s graduation photo proudly displayed. She just earned her third MA (What? She didn’t learn enough the first? Too many letters, I say.)In case we didn’t drool enough about his “ gorgeous brilliant daughter,”he continued with another photo of her 8th grade birthday party. The woman is 47 years old. Wtf do we care what she looked like when she was 12?  And why did it take her almost 50 years to finish school? This guy is not the smoothest phlucker, but he accomplished his mission, the phlucker’s goal:  stop the conversation and look at ME and mine.

     After the photo phlucker flashed his photos in our faces, he proudly flaunted one of his new pet shar pei. “She’s a pure bred, you know. Cost me $7800.” Good thing he reminded us of that, as he had only mentioned it six times the last time we saw him. hhm (heaven help me)

     Photo-phlucking is on the rise, so beware. It’s even on facebook. “The new profile” photos seem to be getting larger. What’s interesting, though, is that they aren’t necessarily more flattering. A distant relative recently posted a selfie drinking a giant glass of red wine and flipping off the viewer. Whaat? She’s ripe for Phluck Therapy.