Wednesday, June 18, 2014



ELBOWS












I recently bought Billy Crystal’s memoirs, "Still Foolin' Them." He is hilarious, and in the book, there is a chapter called “Elbows.” I haven’t read the chapter yet, so I thought I’d write about elbows. I tried taking a photo of my elbow, but the result was so disgusting, I could not bear to print it. One shot looked like some planet with rivers and valleys on it. (Those were just my wrinkles and blemishes.) 

Have you ever thought about your elbows? I can honestly say, I have not. Elbows are quite versatile. They can serve as weapons, door openers, supports for resting one’s chin on one’s hands, nudgers for wives of old men who snore at concerts or in bed---the list goes on. Just think, if we didn’t have elbows, our forearms would be attached to our upper arms, and our arms would not bend. This could cause many problems for those who like to pick their noses or itch their eyelids. 

We have all heard the term “elbow room.” I always thought it was a room in a museum where they collected ancient bones from extinct animals. Today it has come to mean the place that doesn’t exist on an airplane.

All this reminds me of a joke I heard. One day a guy is jogging in the city. He finds a tennis ball and sticks it in his pocket. When he gets to the traffic light, a beautiful blond is standing there. She looks at the bulge in his pocket. A few awkward seconds elapse. Finally, the guy says. “Tennis ball.” She replies, “Does it hurt? I once had tennis elbow.”

Too much time on my hands? :)