Sunday, July 13, 2014


I recently read a blurb on the Internet citing stats about whether “YOU KNOW YOU’RE A GROWN-UP.” I still do not aspire to this designation, but I couldn’t contain my curiosity. A couple of the quotes stopped me in my tracks.

“The average American spends 33 minutes per day cooking.” Hmm. I am about 26 minutes behind on this one. For all those who are reading those things called “recipes,” you should know that I am taking my nap while Mr. Wonderful heats up the grill and scrounges in the blue drawer for some decent veggie to throw on the plates. I usually make my lettuce salad the week before to save time. The lettuce looks so pretty with a brown border and some little dots on the leaves.

The next stat concerned how much the average person has in his checking account. $3100. Hmm. Checking account as of today,”12.46.” I have only gotten the “you-have-no-money-moron” ALERT twice this week. No worries. Payday is the 25th---I have it covered. Only thirteen more days and no luncheons planned. Just think. All of those who have $2087.54 more than yours truly are getting no-zero-zip interest, and they probably have several luncheons planned.

The most frightening stat had to do with people whose adult children are unemployed and have moved home. Something like 44% of them found comfort and beer back at the old homestead. I have no desire to share my stash with my adult kids. At the very least, they would have to make my salads, cook some recipes (if they can find any) and be responsible for cleaning the house and doing the lawn. If they awaken me during my nap, they would have to find shelter elsewhere.

Just sayin’.