Saturday, July 19, 2014


                                FOOT a tire?















     Whaaat? The latest on the silver scream is:  “Retirees who own BMWs are more unhapppy than those who own a Lexus.” I don’t think so.

     First of all, anyone who has to buy an effen vehicle to be “happy,” is pretty pathetic to begin with, and if you haven’t figured out how pathetic you are by the age of retirement, then you’re obviously the one full of gas, not your vehicle.

     Secondly, I have been retired for almost ten years, and I have owned both brands. I am happiest when my payment is low and my mileage is high. This disqualifies both vehicles. I do agree that the BMW is tight and the LEXUS is loose. For those who were lucky enough not to have their entire savings towed away in the financial wreck of 2008, you probably don’t even have a payment, so you should be ecstatic! 

     The best vehicle is the foot. The foot is free. It requires no petrol. It can go as fast or as slow as you wish and can be washed without hoses and sponges. It can be dirty and still function, and it does not need waxing. No insurance is necessary, and there is no license to renew. It never goes out of style and doesn’t have to be displayed in a showroom where gritty little anklebiters can put their sticky hands all over it. It doesn’t need a tune-up every 5000 miles. Color is not an option, and it always matches your elbows. Your happiness is not dependent on it, for it is controlled by the same part of the  body as the mouth. (We all know how happy our mouths are:)

BMW, LEXUS, FOOT? Your choice.