Sunday, August 24, 2014



                                               Whoop and Holler or Weep and Wallow?

     Are you a better reveler, wallower or obsessor? I have earned a PhD in all three through the years, but I prefer reveling, even though I probably spend more time in the other two categories.

     A recent blogger friend, Sybil Solomon, discussed the concept of “wallowing” this morning. 

     “The question is—how long do you wallow? Most of my issues only require 2-24 hours for me to vent, cry, scream or withdraw and get to the other side. Then I can begin to consider how to get resources or work out next steps to move on. Major issues take longer. I once heard that a crisis only lasts six weeks. After that, it is a way of life and you need to develop the strategies to function and deal with it. That doesn’t mean you have accepted it, integrated it or forgotten it. It simply means that you are putting one foot in front of the other.”

     My wallow foot seems to kick up its tendons more easily than my “revel” appendage. As much as I love to revel in success, good luck or a happy day, my reveling seems to evaporate quickly into the cosmos, and the bad shit shows up again, the wallow worm wigging its way into my psyche.

    Some guru on Ted Talks the other day said that for whatever reason, we seem to latch onto the negative. That’s why the media’s “If it bleeds, it leads” seems to attract us and attach itself to our daily filters. I am refreshed by the segment on the NBC 6:00 news that focuses on a refreshing, positive story. There are so many of these, but reveling doesn’t sell viewers or readers.

     Somewhere between graham crackers and spelling in first grade, they need to teach children how to process. They need to learn from a very early age how to separate positive from negative and how to somehow latch onto the good and revel in it instead of getting buried in the bad and wallowing. Think about it. A temper tantrum is a mini-wallow. A six-year-old’s birthday party is a super-revel. Hopefully, the kid will remember the birthday cake, not the fact that he didn’t get an I-phone 28 for his birthday.

More theories about wallowing, reveling and obsession to follow.