Wednesday, August 6, 2014


                                   Part III

     This is what you’ve all been waiting for:  What is the surprising skinny on what men think about THE PERFECT WOMAN? You won’t believe it. It’s not a trait held by Pamela Anderson, Jennifer Aniston, Sally Field, Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie or Hillary Clinton. Nope. Little girls are often taught to aspire to be this kind of woman. Little boys are often taught to revere this trait, or at least to respect it. Yup--motherhood. More than large tatas, more than the Brazilian bubble, more than Betty Grable legs, more than Scarlet Johannson lips--it’s being a good mother. 

     Over 38% of men polled believe “being a good mother” is the most important quality the Perfect Woman can possess. Hmm. When asked what they’d give up for the Perfect Woman, only 6% of men would give up their moms. Men would be twice as likely (12%) to give up their homes than their mommies. This is very hard to believe, but in many ways quite refreshing. 

     If they love their mommies so much, why don’t they gawk at pregnant women or young moms dragging screaming toddlers out of fast food joints? If mom is such an important part of their lives, why do men have to be nagged by their wives to call mom? If moms are so highly revered, why don’t they have videos about moms that men watch for hours on their laptops. 

     The other surprising question was “Do you believe that all women eventually become just like their mothers?” Three out of four men said “No.” What? So does that mean they only like their own mothers--not their wive’s mothers? Hmm.

The only conclusions I can draw are as follows:

  1. Most men never wanted to leave the womb (except for kick-off).
  2. Men gawk at what they don’t revere.
  3. Men must all have moms with huge-bosomed perfect bodies.
  4. Men aren’t stupid. The better mom a man’s wife, the less shit he has to deal with.

Now, let’s talk about THE PERFECT MAN.