Monday, August 11, 2014

     If you have never cheated, stop reading now. You still there? Of course, you are. Who has never cheated? the Pope? Mother Theresa? your six-month old? Those who have cheated don’t make a habit of bragging about it. . . usually. Scott Pelly in the 60 Minute segment with the guy who injected A-Rod with drugs asked him why he did this? He said it was because all the other athletes were cheating, so he wanted to teach Mr. Homerun how to cheat “the right way.” Oh, good. Just supply him with some little gummies that he can pop before reaching the mound, and no one will ever know. Mr. Injector (known as “Dr. T.”) said, “I got caught, but if I hadn’t gotten caught, I would have gone right on doing what I did best.” I’m sure it had nothing to do with the $12,000 cash per month he was receiving from just one of the many athletes he served through his drug-injecting career. Are you effen kidding me? 

     Think about that one time you cheated in your life? Did you think you’d get away with it?
Did you even think at all about the consequences?  If you did give it any thought, of course, you figured you’d get away with it. No one ever plans to get caught. The incredible thing to me is that at least once or twice a day, someone is arrested for cheating, and yet, people still think they will get away with their misdeeds. 

     It is common knowledge that many men cheat on their wives. Guess what, women cheat too. Does the reason for cheating matter? If men cheat because they’re horny, is that any worse than women cheating because their spouses won’t listen to them?
Are there degrees of cheating? If so, there must be degrees of guilt. Just how guilty do you feel about having cheated? 

     I believe there are big cheats and baby cheats. “Big cheats” are things like infidelity, robbery, claiming you didn’t use the last piece of toilet paper. “Baby cheats” are such things as borrowing $20 from your kid’s piggy bank without telling him or pouring yourself some Diet out of the restaurant’s beverage dispenser when you told the nice lady you only wanted tap water. What about taking the blouse back after you wore it and telling the clerk you got it as a gift, and the spot was already on it? Or maybe you ran out of copy paper, so you just stuck a package from the stock room at work in your briefcase, with every intention of replacing it. Yeah, right.

     Every month, some politician is involved in a scandal. When all eyes are on you in public positions (no pun intended), doesn’t it occur to you that you might just humiliate yourself and bring shame on your family? I don’t get it. I feel guilty when I take the last banana, saying to myself, “He would want me to have it.” 

     It’s fascinating to me to what lengths people will go to get away with their cheating. “Dr. T” told of an occasion when he took the homerunner into a bathroom stall to take his blood. He didn’t want anyone coming into the restroom to see what he was doing. Hello. Did anyone think twice about four shoes under one stall door? (Remind me not to check under any doors from this moment on.) 

     How many times have you seen some jar in which you were asked to drop your business card so you could win a new car? Did you put in one business card or 40? 
Cheaters never win. Well, maybe they do, but they pay a price. Ask Eliot Spitzer and David Petraeus. 

     Dr. T. could get up to ten years in prison. That will give him time to think about the merits of cheating or how he might make some extra cash as he moves from the stall to the cell.