Thursday, September 4, 2014

                        NO BLOND LEFT BEHIND


     In my new book, “49 Shades of Blond,” I address several pressing issues about the life of tinted divas, not the least of which is “No Blond Left Behind.” 

     When some politician came out with the “No Child Left Behind” movement several years ago, education was set back twenty years. He should have consulted me, a master educator, at the time, and I could have given him my blond theory about how to improve the learning process. But no, he did not. It apparently never occurred to him to enlist the aid of this blond diva to help improve education in this country. So here we are, many children still left behind, and blond divas are scratching their roots.

     It costs me over $1000 a year to get to the root of this issue. I sit in a chair with a black cape around my body, scratching my scalp thinking about how children learn. After brainstorming for well over two decades now, I have come up with some incredibly shocking ideas. Here are a few:

  1. Ask children to read a minimum of one book a week from the age of four.
  2. Train teachers to make learning relevant and fun.
  3. Require parents to show proof of passing at least one semester of parenting classes in order to receive their driver’s licenses.
  4. Require school administrators to teach at least one class per semester so they don’t forget what it’s like to be in a classroom.
  5. Require school administrators to take empathy training.
  6. Require all schools to teach students conflict resolution and life skills yearly from the age of 12.
  7. Require all students to take one semester of meditation.
  8. Require all parents to spend a day shadowing their children.
  9. Require schools to set up a student board to advise educators of what’s working and what’s not.
  10. Do not allow politicians to run for office if they have never stepped foot in a classroom.
  11. Do not allow any person on a Board of Education who has not been a parent and who has not spent at least 30 days in classrooms of every level.
  12. Teach students the three Rs:  respect, responsibility and resilience.

     The last time I sat under the cape and scratched my scalp, I thought to myself, “If students get nothing more than a passion for learning during their desk years, no child will be left behind.” Just sayin’.