Sunday, September 7, 2014

                             FIFI UNPLUGGED, PART II

     Some of you whose lives don’t depend on a 2.5” x 5” device to maneuver through the day won’t have much sympathy for yours truly. It’s not that I need to text my daughters and send emoji to my grandchildren or use my “pacer” app to see how many calories I’ve burned or check the weather which changes here every 13 minutes. It’s little things like calling home to see if we need asparagus or checking my emails to see if I’ve been chosen Senior Strutter of the Year. And what about the one-hour mystery sale on Ivanka Trump at Macy’s? If I’m not checking every hour, I could miss a 75% off sale. This is serious.

     Mr. Wonderful and I took our three cords to the A T & T store. The nice young man plugged them in and confirmed that we were not senile; the damned phone wouldn’t charge. He figured out that if we held the phone a certain way with one of the cords, it would charge a percent or two, but then it would stop. “So are you telling me that if I sit in this one position for the next three hours, the phone will be fully charged?” “Maybe,” he smiles. “You can call Apple, and tell them your story, and they will probably send you a new one, but they’ll have to put a hold on your charge until the old one is received.” I’m thinking to myself, “Yeah, right. Been there before. They’ll put a hold on my charge for the next 83 days, and then they’ll claim they never got the lame device, and I’ll be calling my lawyer. No thank you.” 

    I tried shaking it, hugging it, talking to it, licking it--nothing has worked. Meanwhile, we are paying for a phone I can’t use and people who only know my cell number think I’m ignoring them. (A few--that’s true.) We have no long distance on the antiquated land line, so anyone past New Byrne is off radar. 

     Well, the good news is that I have a brand new MacBook Air because Mr.Wonderful dropped my MacBook and broke the screen. Doesn’t matter that my 1987 printer doesn’t recognize this new technology, so I can’t print any photos or scan anything. 
This conundrum calls for a giant CONUNDRUM* A large bottle would be greatly appreciated:) Please send to home address asap. Next week, I will be at the HOME if this doesn’t get resolved.