Tuesday, December 16, 2014

     I have noticed recently that Mr. Wonderful’s attention span is shortening. It seems to be in direct relation to my enthusiasm on any given topic. If I’m passionate about it, he seems to tune out sooner. wtf. I have taken empathy training, have endured weeks of therapy over the years, have read all I can about ADD and how men think (or don’t), and I’ll be damned if I can figure out why his eyes are wandering and his body seems to go limp when I speak. I am not one of those long-winded people who goes into every detail, so I can’t understand why he’s not hanging on my every word. I have learned, however, that with this man one must never try talking to him:

  1. about anything when he’s hungry
  2. about anything when he’s tired
  3. after any meal (he goes immediately into food coma)
  4. when he’s reading the paper
  5. when he’s doing his bills
  6. when he’s surfing the net
  7. when he’s deep in thought
  8. when he’s planning his tennis schedule
  9. when he’s reading the book club book
  10. when he’s driving
  11. when he’s bloated

     I am an award-winning public speaker. My friends think I’m amusing, and my students liked me. My children even like me certain days, and my grandchildren think I’m hilarious. So what’s with Mr. Wonderful and this attitude? It definitely needs an adjustment, but just thinking about it makes me tired. Don’t talk to me.