Saturday, January 31, 2015

     Every time we travel, I always laugh at our list of idiosyncracies that seem to surface--our breakfast habits, our sleeping patterns, our energy levels, our focus.
I suppose 21.5 years of marriage is a testimony to our tolerance, compatibility and level of fun together. When we’re home, we don’t think about these things so much, as our focus is divided between so many different events and issues. In a tiny two-seater sports car, however, and in a bed the size of a shoebox and a bathroom the size of a gym locker, one does have to make adjustments. I remember my therapist from years ago saying, “Breathe in frustration, breathe out compassion.” Yeah, right. I’d like to see her watch him peel an egg.

     Mr. Wonderful must have his morning protein, and moi aussi. Watching this grown man furrow his brow, stick his tongue between his front teeth, squeeze his sphincters and begin the Great Peel Process is truly hilarious. I have timed him (without his knowledge, of course), and it takes ten times as long for him to peel it as to eat it. He breaks off minuscule pieces of the shell, turning it over and over in his big paw. Expletives begin under his breath and begin to emerge about a quarter of the way through the process. By now, I have consumed my entire breakfast, and I try to look elsewhere. Yesterday, he went through the entire process, and when he got to the egg, it was half cooked. Oh, my.  Today he looked around and identified another man with an egg. While I was trying to have a conversation about our day’s plan, he was studying the man’s peeling technique. He didn’t hear a word I said. Good thing I’ve learned to entertain my mind and think positive thoughts like “Hmm. I could order those Nordstrom booties with the Sale Code and use my $25 gift certificate that my daughter regifted to me and have them waiting for me on the porch by the time I get home.”

     I don’t want to seem hard-boiled about any of this, but I will be glad when we get to a Cracker Barrel where he can order his eggs over easy while I plan my wardrobe for the next season.