Monday, February 16, 2015

ATTENTION to  All of my friends from the past 48 years:

     I will be out of town for the next thirteen days, forty-two minutes and 36 seconds. During that time, you will be unable to reach me via email, text, twitter, facebook, snail mail, telegram or drone. You will have to consult a recent calendar to determine my return date, as the annoying month of February is involved, and there’s always a leap to consider. I expect to return at 4:23 a.m., but I won’t be answering messages until at least 72 hours after that, and that’s assuming I don’t have jet lag or flatulence.

     Are they effen kidding? Who the ef cares where your went, how long you will be gone, when you’re getting back or any other mundane events in your so-important-life? What is it with these people? Do they really think we’re sitting around thinking about them? I am constantly amazed at how self-centered people are. It’s being thoughtful inside out.