Saturday, March 14, 2015

     Have you ever been at a long, tedious meeting that had you sneaking glimpses of your I-phone to count the minutes until you could escape? Fidgeting in your seat as the Treasurer’s Report is given column by column, you think you will break out in hives if you have to endure one more minute. And then, just as the president is wrapping up the “old-business-new-business,” some moron raises her hand to say, “I have to brag a little.” Oh, no. Not this woman again. How did she even get on the Board? “Brag?” Are you effen kidding me? She slid out of the  womb whipping her umbilical cord over her head, shouting, “look at me, look at me!” I look over at Mr. Wonderful whose eyes are rolled back in their sockets and try to find humor in my angst. 

     I don’t understand people. We have a good friend whose mantra is “People disappoint me.” As some people have disappointed us in recent months, we chuckle and repeat his cry at least once a week. But people of the “look-at-me” variety are just totally clueless. Didn’t the woman realize that twenty of us had been sitting there for an hour and half, and some of us have lives? All Mr. Wonderful and I had on our agenda was to pick up a few things at the grocery store, but the choice between picking out a good head of iceberg and listening to Me-Moron was no contest. 

     There are some rules these people need to learn:  If you are going to draw unnecessary attention to yourself, you should

  1. do it at the beginning of a meeting
  2. talk very fast
  3. leave the meeting early so people don’t hurt you
  4. watch the facial expressions of those around you
  5. Zip-it.