Tuesday, March 31, 2015

     


















     Have you ever been videotaped? It is one of life’s most humbling experiences. I wanted to have a souvenir of my one-woman show, so I hired an actor/videographer to make me a three to four-minute video. I figured if I got bold and decided to take my show on the road, I would have a sample of my work.

     First of all, there was no make-up artist, so all flaws were there in front of God and everyone. Secondly, I have never done this before, so I didn’t know where to look. I’m used to looking around the room and moving freely when I speak, but I had to pretend my audience was this tiny lens, a glass thing the size of a pregnant cricket. I’m sure my eyes are probably crossed in half the close-ups. Thirdly, my music was unedited, so every mistake is there showing my human-ness. This is one time, I’d rather not be human and play perfectly, but that will never happen, duh, because I’m human.

     We worked for 3.5 hours, and I can honestly say, my brain is fried, and I’m ready for a nap. Ariana Huffington says “naps are performance tools.” Just sayin’. 

     Not only are all my mistakes and flaws now on tape, but I have to pay this terrific photographer for all his hard work. He was wonderful---patient, kind and meticulous.
He told me that Doris Day had so many freckles, they had to put a pair of pantyhose on the lens to hide them. Well, my spots are not freckles, unfortunately, so I will be completely humbled once I see the finished product. I wonder how I’d look through control top.

     My friends think I’m crazy to do all this work, but I love the process. Most people have no idea what it takes to make a movie, and this one was only four minutes long. It’s a grueling process for actors on sets under the lights with make-up and costumes to endure. I was in costume, but it was nothing heavy or cumbersome. I now have top hat hair, however. I thought being in my own film I would look like an aging Marilyn Monroe and sound like a sultry Lauren Bacall. Wrong. I look like an over-the-hill Lucille Ball and sound like Tracy Chapman. Oh. well. It’s all blog-able:) Night night.