Sunday, May 17, 2015


     People are very strange. I am learning why Europeans sit in cafés and people watch hour after hour. Of course, with each glass of wine, people become stranger.

     Today, I awoke in a grizzly mood. I must have had a very bad dream because yesterday was a great day, and nothing happened between bedtime and waking this morning other than my dreams. So some nasty thing must have transpired during REM sleep to send me into major irritation at 6:30 a.m. 

     We went for a nice hike in the woods, and I began to feel better. After expending minimal energy to burn 158 calories, we headed for the fat food restaurant on the Intracoastal. Justifying the deep fried fish and chips by my Pacer readout, I delved into my pile of salty chips and crunchy cod. As we were finishing our meal, an attractive woman approached our table with her thick husband and died-to-match eight-year old son. He shook my hand with a Bernie Sanders grip, looked me right in the eye and said, “It is a pleasure to meet you.” The woman said, “You two look like you are really enjoying this beautiful day.” The aisle where she and her family were standing was about two feet wide, and the wait staff needed to get by, but she stood there trying to engage us in conversation. She wanted to know where we lived and told us that she lived in the same town we did, but that she and her family had stayed overnight in this small fishing town and were boating in their 8-foot fishing vessel. Mr. Wonderful and I looked at each other trying to figure out what she was selling. She kept talking, and her husband was getting visibly impatient, so when the waiter needed to get by with a huge tray of food, she shook our hands and told us it was a real pleasure to meet us. As we left the restaurant, we noticed she was engaging another couple while her husband and son were donning their life jackets for the trip back to the condo. Mr. Wonderful was sure they were religious zealots fattening us up for the kill but were interrupted by a shrimp and grits dish. 

     We went to a concert this afternoon. The program was all Bach, and although the music was pleasant, the two of us agreed that the old guy used way too many notes. He was right up there with Mozart with his eighth note quota. Our soprano neighbor looked great on stage though, and we thought she was the best of the 100 voices. 

     We then went to dinner at our favorite sunset spot on the water. We sat down at a table in front of a thick couple who we had watched eat their dinner, have the waiter put the rest into a take-home container and then proceed to spend another hour eating out of the container. That was in between suck facing in front of 200 people. If they had been young, it would have been disgusting, but they were pushing 50, and he sucked half her cheeks in with her plump lips. yuck.

     People are so weird. We agreed that we are happy that we’re not people.