Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Laughter effects has been tracking its readers’ interests over the past year. Certain categories seem to attract more than others, so it has decided to label each day by subject. The following topics will be addressed according to the day:

Monday:  Money
Tuesday: Travel

Wednesday: Wishing
Thursday: Trending on the “Hills”
Friday:  Fashion French
Saturday: Sex
Sunday:  Sermons Redux

As we are easing into Wednesday, my wishes are relatively simple:

-I wish that the squirrel trying to scratch its way through our roof would get bitten by the giant June bug who is hiding under my bed.
-I wish that the people listing their homes $75,000 under ours would realize they’re giving Mr. Wonderful hives.
-I wish someone would come up with a magic formula to erase Crepe.
-I wish that the Fairy Godmaid would show up to clean the house.
-I wish someone would remove Mr. W’s sinuses.
-I wish people would drive over 36 mph on Market Street.
-I wish my bust size would surpass my shoe width.
-I wish someone would pay my bills forward.
-I wish someone would do my push ups for me.
-I wish a tabby kitten would show up in my foyer.

-I wish we had a wine geyser in the backyard.