Thursday, May 21, 2015

THURSDAY:                       What’s Trending on the “Hills”

     As our street has the word “Hills” in it, I thought I’d take the liberty of speaking from them. The “Hills” is a very nice street with a beautiful home perched on a berm overlooking the 15th hole of a very green and well-manicured golf course. Unfortunately, we spent all our money on the house and had none left to join the golf club. We do play tennis there, however, and that is fun some days--more for Mr. Wonderful than for yours truly who has anxiety attacks when trying to execute a good backhand. That’s another story.

    Trending on the “Hills” today are thoughts of making the “final move.” That sounds ominous, and it can be depending on one’s perspective. The thrill of pulling up stakes and starting all over again in a new town where you know absolutely no one can be daunting or thrilling.To us, it’s both right now, but by the time our house sells, the city to which we would like to relocate will probably be closed for business. 

     Selling one’s house is neither thrilling nor fun--it’s a royal pain! People don’t come, and then they come and never come back. They say wonderful things and mean things, and you never see them, so you can’t even get revenge. The realtor just keeps telling us to lower, lower, lower the price. Soon, we will be giving it away, one biffy at a time. There is always the “right buyer” for every home, we’re told. Well, Mr. “Right” needs to step up to the plate. We ain’t gettin’ any younger here. I was thinking of offering a blue light special--one day only best price over half a mill, but the realtor didn’t think that was a good idea or amusing. So here we sit on the “Hills” sipping our Sauvignon Blanc over the bunker enjoying the sun streaming through the trees onto our lovely patio. Wait a minute. Why are we moving again? Was I in on this discussion?

     Trending today also is the birthday prep for Mr. Wonderful. I can’t count as high as he is old, so just take my word for it, the guy’s gettin’ up there. He can still read, write and pat, so I know he’s still got it goin’ on. What do you buy an old guy who has everything, has been everywhere and drives his dream car? Poor baby? Maybe it’s time to start taking things away instead of giving him more. I told him I’d pay for his birthday dinner, and he pouted for an hour. Wtf. It’s an expensive restaurant, and I had to give up my Edy’s Caramel Delight for three months to save for it. I get no respect. I asked him if he’d like a new tennis racket. He tried 17 different ones and decided he liked his 1974 model best. (Whew! Dodged that bullet).
     Trending finally is getting packed for an upcoming trip to see the grandchildren. As there are four little girls who think their grandpa is a ladder and their grandmother the rich fairy godmother from the south, we are packing accordingly. Old shirts and slacks for him, and the piggy bank for yours truly. Somehow they think change is worth more than paper, so I’ve got this one nailed. I just have to figure out how to lift $400 worth of nickels.