Sunday, May 10, 2015

     Do you ever get home from a social event and ruminate about what was under the surface in certain conversations? Maybe it’s the evil voice in your head or your grandma’s finger pointing at you or Dr. Phil reassuring you that it’s the “other people” who are crazy. I would love to watch a social event on a screen where you couldn’t hear what was said aloud but only what people were thinking. Not that I would have any nasty thoughts, of course. 

In recent conversations, I’ve thought the following:

-Why are you bragging?
-Why are we talking about this here?
-What’s your point?
-Do you really want to reveal that?
-You aren’t going to want to face me next week after telling me this.
-Who asked your opinion?
-Take a breath.
-Do you really think people are interested in that?
-Why would I want to know about those habits?
-You must be brilliant.
-I wish I could be you.
-I’m over here.
-I can hear you.
-Do you need a break?
-Your stories kind of go on and on, don’t they?
-Don’t you get any attention at home?

     Lord knows what people are thinking when I’m talking. I only hope they are listening.

     A month ago, a distant friend confided some personal things to me for which I’m sure she is sorry. After trying to reach her a couple of times, I am telling myself that she wishes she hadn’t told me any of it, and she doesn’t want to face me much less give me an update. I don’t want an update, but I had hoped to talk to her again before I die. Guess not. I guess we have to watch not just what we say but what we agree to listen to. Oh, my. Life can be so complicated. People are weird. It can’t be moi.