Sunday, June 28, 2015

                                    
NEWS ALERT!

     Have you heard the latest? “Belfies” are in. Yup, “belfies.” These are selfies of the buttocks. Who knew? Why on earth would anyone take a photo of her butt? And how does one do that? Assuming you have butt-worthy material, how do you get yourself into a position to take a photo of said subject? People have way too much time on their hands.

     What has started this trend, or enhanced it, is that thongs are passé (sales down 7%/high waisters up 17%), and granny panties are in. Yes, you read it correctly—granny panties. Omg. Apparently, someone in her twenties decided she was tired of fancy floss between her cheeks so has designed underwear that is actually comfortable. Now there’s a concept. 

     When men were interviewed on the streets, most did not like the idea of so much flesh being covered up, but one brave young guy said “If my girlfriend would be more comfortable, then I’m all for it.” Who assigned men to put a stamp of approval on our underwear? Obviously someone did, or lingerie stores would be out of business. Interesting how men are the ones behind? the inspiration of sexy underwear, but you rarely see a guy in a lingerie store, at least without an embarrassed smirk on his face. 

     A fascinating discovery caught my attention. Teenage girls have grown up with their moms wearing thongs. They don’t want to be like their moms, so they would rather wear pastel parachutes than wear thongs like mom. I love it. When I was rebelling against my mother, I never thought about her underwear. 

     Back to men. I think if men are going to design our clothes, they should have to test them. Let them walk around for 24 hours in a thong and a strapless bra, and then ask them what they think. Of course, they know that women are so lame that we do whatever it takes to please, so it wouldn’t matter. 

   Takes me back to a song my father used to sing:  “She’s got freckles on her butt, she’s so nice.” He’d be arrested singing this song, but if posted on a belfie, it would go viral.