Saturday, July 11, 2015

Extreme sports (also called action sports, aggro sports, and adventurous sports) is a popular term for certain activities perceived as having a high level of inherent danger.[1][2][3] These activities often involve speed, height, a high level of physical exertion, and highly specialized gear.[1]



     It is hard to believe that someone “of a certain age,” namely, yours truly, could find herself engaging in “extreme sports.” Well, it may be hard to believe, but I do this at least once every six to eight weeks. Yup, I do. I engage in “extreme” housework.

     According to the official definition, an extreme sport is usually a solo affair requiring no coach and performed under uncontrollable natural phenomena such as ice, snow, mountains, water. I clean alone with no coach (except Mr. Wonderful who has no clue I listen to none of his ranting). Cleaning for me is always dangerous. I could have a heart attack from just looking at the to do list or I could have a nervous breakdown realizing that I don’t even keep this feat in my “quality world” scrapbook. It can be raining, snowing, hailing or tornadoing—I’m still at it. I have been known to hide under the mountain of laundry when things get dicey.

     Even pushing the Swiffer can require extreme physical exertion for the Queen whose greatest efforts end with shoving my feet into my latest designer booties.

     Dusting is an emotional experience for me. Pushing all the damned mites from one end of the credenza to the other is certainly a challenge to my sanity.

     At my age, the stress of remembering which rooms I’ve cleaned can be overwhelming. I have been known to scour the sink four times in a row, but that was because I was listening to Pink’s “I hate you, I love you” song on my i-pod, and I got lost in the lyrics.

     Specialized equipment can be costly. By the time I buy the Swiffer with the refill box, the new sponges, the fresh box of Bon Ami (yeah, great friend!), Pledge lemon and Lysol toilet bowl cleaner with Cosmo chaser, I have broken the budget. 

     Extreme sports often include incredible heights. I feel incredibly high when I’m done, as I don’t have to think about this again for weeks. E.S’s also assume speed. I have considered taking some, but I have not succumbed yet. Too hard on the old arteries.

     I don’t recommend this activity for anyone over 12. First of all, it’s totally boring and tedious, and secondly, once your mate sees you doing this, it will become part of “her list.” Avoid this at all costs.