Thursday, October 8, 2015

     One morning, I woke up and there were long streaks of wrinkle on both of my face cheeks. I thought to myself, “Well, this sucks. What am I going to do about this. This makes me look like my Grandma Hilda.” Now I loved Grandma Hilda, but wrinkles were her specialty, and that’s a trait I don’t care to inherit. After all, she was old. Oops, I’m old. Regardless, I decided it was time to try the pillow dance.

     I have been sleeping on normal pillows for years, but as the years go by, the skin thins, and the pillow becomes the bad guy. Remember when you took your pillow on vacation and slept against the car door with it all squished into your face? Well, the creases it made then disappeared within about three minutes. Now they become lifetime symbols of the “O” word.
Some friends told me that I needed an anti-wrinkle pillow. So I spent $50 for the blue-gray model.

     After feeling that my face was on a polyester frying pan all night, I gave up and went back to “red.” The wrinkles seemed to be quadrupling, so I went for broke and headed for the leopard model that matched my thong. My head kept rolling off the tiny model all night, and when I awoke, my nose was connected to my earlobe.

     I am now in the market for a new model. It doesn’t have to match anything, but it has to be sleep friendly and not mash my face parts. Any suggestions?