Tuesday, November 10, 2015

     There are some strange things going on in this world, and I’m wondering how I can cash in on them. There are hunger strikes to get officials to resign, name-calling to win the highest office in our land, and squirrels scratching the roof trying to find shelter.

     I wonder if I refuse to eat for several days whether I can force Mr.Wonderful to buy those Coach booties I’ve been eyeing. 

     I wonder if I call the woman running for City Commissioner a nasty name if someone will write me in so I can get some free parking downtown next to my favorite restaurant.

     I wonder if I start scratching on the roof of the mansion on Figure 8 Island, if I can find a fancy place to write my blogs. 

     Hmmm. Food for thought.

     Strange things I’ve noticed this month:

  1. People stopping at “Yield” sign at turnaround causing backup of angry blond driver and friends.
  2. People not returning calls and expecting me to buy their products.
  3. Stores selling moldy corn on the cob and serving free gourmet coffee.
  4. Spouse pulling off all my covers and expecting sex without buying me Coach booties.
  5. Daughter promising she’ll call in an hour and disappearing for weeks.
  6. Someone texting me with a lunch invitation without signing the message.
  7. People saying they love going out with us but never initiating a plan.
8.    People eating only caramel part of Caramel Delight ice cream and leaving all the vanilla.
9.    Man wondering why I don’t want to take a flight with four stops. 
10.  People posting not one but SIX messages on Facebook in less than five minutes.