Thursday, November 5, 2015

     A good friend of mine is having surgery tomorrow. I told her that I was here for her if she needed anything. I just asked one favor in return. “What’s that?” she asked. I said, “Please don’t show me the incision.” She laughed. I did not. I do not laugh when people feel they need to show me their scars, particularly when it requires lowering a zipper or raising a skirt.

     What is it with people wanting to show you their incisions? WTF? I am sorry you have to endure this procedure, but please don’t share it with me. I am your friend, not your post-op nurse.  

     A very close friend is having surgery next week. The surgery is on a private part. She
recently felt the need to post a link to a video showing the surgery so her friends could see what she will be enduring. Are you effen kidding me? Why would I want to see that? God forbid that I should have to endure such surgery, but even so, I don’t want to know what it looks like from the surgeon’s perspective. Some things should just remain private, hello.

     One day, Mr. Wonderful and I went to our financial planner for our yearly update. His wife had just had surgery. He was telling us about her ordeal. We listened politely. Then he pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil, and began to sketch something. We sat innocently not knowing what was coming. He said, “Now here’s your butt. . . “ Whaaaaat? Omg. We almost died. We were so dumbfounded that he would reveal such intimate details that we couldn’t make eye contact with each other much less with him. That poor woman. If she ever knew that he was telling her story to all his clients, she would have done something with his butt.
     I guess it’s partially a modesty thing. My mother used to walk around butt naked, but my father would always pull his long farmer-type undershirt down to mid-thigh so we couldn’t see the family jewels. When my parents told me years later that they were robbed and lost the family jewels, I didn’t know quite what to think. 

    I think it’s best, in these situations, not to think at all.