Wednesday, December 30, 2015

     What CAN you eat? Used to be that no one I knew had any dietary restrictions. Those days appear to be long gone. Mr. Wonderful is allergic to more things than I have shoes. He gets annoying symptoms from fresh tomatoes to mashed potatoes to ice cream. I don’t seem to have any allergies, but I’m only in my seventies. No bragging rights yet.

     While discussing my friend’s newest project:  finding a good recipe for a pork roast with “just the right rub,” I gasped and said, “Wow! That sounds interesting. I would just like to find a recipe for anything that an idiot can cook and that Mr. W. can eat without turning purple, itching all over or feeling like he is going to explode.” My friend gave me the “Good luck with that” look, and we both laughed. She said, “You two are such picky eaters.” She’s right. We are picky, but not because we don’t like the taste. It’s because I am too lazy to cook, and he’s too allergic to eat. 
     She suggested that we make a two-column list. Column one would list everything we cannot eat. Column two would list the rest. She said, “I would bet there’s not going to be much in the second column.” She’s probably right about that too. wtf. I didn’t mention the fact that we are both amazingly healthy for our ages, we take virtually no medication, and we are surprisingly fit for old farts. That part of the discussion is delicate no matter who we talk to about eating and cooking. Many of the people I know who are wonderful cooks (and, in my opinion, there aren’t many), reflect their talent on the scale. Mr.W. and I are very disciplined about avoiding sugar, fat, alcohol and too much starch. Try making something really tasty and fancy with those restrictions.

      Well, I took my friend’s advice and wrote the two columns. Column one had 48 things we cannot or do not eat. Column two had five items:  salmon, lettuce, green beans, green tea and chocolate. What? Chocolate? It’s an aphrodisiac. You can’t expect us to give up everything:)