Friday, January 8, 2016

              Oh, Pooh. Who Wants to Color?      

     The latest trend is adult coloring books. Mr. Wonderful has his own ideas of what he’d like to color, but those coloring books are X rated, and you can only buy them in the back rooms of lingerie stores. The examples below are recent examples of those being bought by millions of uptight Americans who think they can color their way to calm. 

     Now let me understand. You watch the news and recognize that a terrorist can take you out at any second be it in a Chick Fil-A or at the latest peace rally. You continue to watch the weather forecast that warns of a storm cell hovering over the garage that could pour 7 inches of rain on your roof within the next 9 minutes. A “BREAKING NEWS” alert interrupts the program to say that a serial killer is loose in the neighborhood. So what can you do? You sit down with your crayolas and color the following.






      















     
     

     Are you effen kidding me? I can barely tell where one shape leaves off before its micro mosaic neighbor starts up. Coloring such pages is about as relaxing as threading a needle in the dark. It would take me a minimum of six vodka-crans to finish one of these puppies.




     Now you take old Winnie there. That’s more my speed. Give me an orange, a brown and maybe a red, and I’m completely mellow in less than five minutes. Of course, I would lose out on the booz, but if I just drank, I wouldn’t need to color in the first place. Who comes up with these ideas? Oh, the crayon companies. Duh.


     What about you? Are you into coloring? Do you color avec or sans libation?