Tuesday, April 5, 2016

     “Come on in. Make yourself at home. Take off your ego.” What? Today my therapist told me to remove my ego. Now there’s a concept I must admit I never thought about. What does it mean? Take off my ego? It’s not like I remember ever putting it on; it was just always there, sometimes being more evident than others, I admit.

       No, I did not have an appointment with a therapist today. I went to a lecture by a local photographer. My therapist was sitting in the second row and motioned for me to come sit by her. I don’t see her often, but I must admit, she’s turned me around at least once or twice a year for the past decade.    

     The ego I’m talking about is the one that exudes from my every pore when I’m trying to perform my music. This ego is saying, “Don’t make a mistake. If you mess that part up, it’s going to ruin the whole performance. Watch out for that passage, the runs can get really messy. What will people think if you forget part of the piece? For heavens sake, don’t stop. Just keep going no matter how bad it sounds. Get through it. Remember, the goal is to play flawlessly and have people rave about what a genius you are.” Yup. That’s the ego I’m talking about. That’s the ego my therapist referenced today when I told her how nervous I get when I perform, and that I have three concerts coming up soon. She said simply, “Take your ego off.” This woman has an incredible ability to take a traumatic situation and reduce it to a single-sentence concept that can be learned and implemented in a matter of hours. She said, “It’s the ego that’s causing the nerves. Take the ego off and focus on the music. You’ll be fine.” DUH. Why didn’t I think of that? Of course, it’s the ego. So I need to soak in a tub of humility, wash myself down with grace and go touch souls with my music. Simple. Right?