Tuesday, May 17, 2016

     People ask me, “Why do you get up so early?” Good question. Sometimes I try to go back to sleep, if I wake up before 3:00 a.m. Occasionally, however, I just get up. No reason. I just do. Let me tell you all what you are missing by sleeping through the night.

     1.  Monotonous commercials touting skin products that will make you look like a movie star in less than six weeks or your $3,422 back.
     2.  Watching the “My Pillow” ad for the 736th time.
     3.  Reruns of “Maverick.”
     4.  News broadcasts from countries you’ve never heard of and can’t spell.
     5.  Reruns of Hoda and Kathy drinking wine and whining.
     6.  Commercials selling products that will prevent any disease you could imagine.
     7.  Hollywood has-beens pitching products they would never purchase themselves.
     8.  Ways to clean your shower stall showing showers that not even a wild boar would enter.
     9.  Confirmation that you needn’t be good-looking or fit to be in a commercial.
    10. Reruns of programs with stars who have long since hit the dust.

      It is very quiet in the middle of the night. Most people are enjoying a good night’s rest. There are no interruptions by children, spouses, doorbells or phones. Smart phones are sleeping. Pets are sleeping. Grass is sleeping. I am not.

     It’s not that I dislike sleeping; I just like being awake. Being awake can get old, however, so I usually hit the pillow after Mr. Wonderful rises at 6:30 a.m. Ask yourself this important question: Do you care about any of this? Of course you don’t. Go back to sleep.