Saturday, May 14, 2016

                                       So. . . Moving

Moving is a process. It begins with a decision and ends who knows where. It begins with the “known,” and hurls us fast forward into an “unknown.” Moving is change. Change is unsettling, exciting and terrifying. Some of us embrace change; others panic at the mere thought of it. We are moving, and it is a moving experience. If someone told you today that you would have to leave your home, your friends, your job, your community, your roots, your identity, how would you react? 

Over the past week, I have experienced several events which have broadened my perspective about our upcoming move to another state. This was not a decision I embraced; in fact, I have fought it for some time. Having crossed over to the “Yes, let’s do this” side, however, I am recording the “feelings” of the process as we prepare for the “big day.”

One thing I know from experience, having moved every six years for most of my adult life (as a mom, a single mom, an empty-nester and a seventy-something). I know that you take yourself wherever you go. You can’t move to make your life better when things aren’t as you like. You take you. You can’t move to give your relationship a fresh start. You take the relationship. You can’t move because you’re bored or you don’t like your neighbor’s yappy dog. You take your reactions with you. There are annoying pets everywhere, and you can’t choose your neighbors. So with this knowledge in mind, I ask myself what parts of me I will have to address in the process of adapting to a new state, a new climate, a new lifestyle.

I am impatient, sometimes emotional, sensitive and  prone to occasional periods of sadness. I have learned that you can’t rush acceptance, you can’t deny your own feelings, everyone is sensitive at some level, and if you have never had periods of sad like me, then perhaps you have not experienced the joy of exhilaration like me either.

I know I must take each day as it comes. People are kind and cruel everywhere. It doesn’t matter if you move to Boston or Butte, people are people. We are all caring around our own loads of joy and sorrow, so we cannot personalize peoples’ behavior. Emotions are human. Denying them is fruitless. We must let them emerge, recognize them, know that only we can give them power, and then let them go. Some people are sensitive about things we’ve never thought about, and others seem insensitive to everything. No one is insensitive; people just hide it in different ways. When the periods of sadness occur, we must let ourselves be sad knowing that something positive will come of them. Maybe those times will make us more sensitive to others’ sadness. Maybe those moments will strengthen our resolve to be kinder to the obnoxious driver on our tails, as he might be impatient, sad and without friends in a new state.

This past week, people I barely know have reached out to tell me how I have “brightened” their lives. People I thought really cared have acted like my leaving was no big deal. They barely said good-bye. People who I didn’t think cared got tears in their eyes. It’s a strange process, this moving thing. I find the whole thing very moving. Stay tuned.