Tuesday, May 3, 2016

     So let me get this straight. I leave town for a few days, and my hits go from 374 to 2. How can this happen? Is it something I said last week? Is there something in the air? Is it “Be mean to Fifi week?” wtf. 

     Well, despite your rejection, I have had a wonderful time with Mr. Wonderful and friends preparing to start a new life in a new state with a new attitude. Yeah, I know. It may only last a month or two, but I’m trying to stay in the moment, so just humor me.

    It was a humbling experience staying in an old folks home. I looked around and saw my life 20 years from now, and I said, “Hey, Girlfriend. You’d best live it up. The good old days are just around the corner.” Don’t misunderstand me. These people were beautiful inside and out. They weren’t crippled up taking their last breaths; they were enjoying life at a slower pace with no demands on them other than what time to get to Bingo. The facility was beautiful, and we had the state-of-the-art pool to ourselves, fully equipped with beach balls. Thanks to our realtor, the entire week was free, meals included, so Mr. Wonderful and I were deeply grateful. I was a little nervous putting my towel back on the rack for fear I would accidentally pull the help string and nurses would flock to me in my all together. Fortunately, that did not happen. Our 95-year-old WWII Vet friend, Ben, told us that he wasn’t afraid of dying; he just didn’t want to be around when it happened. Lesson #1: Do not ever lose sense of humor. 

     The week was full of house hunting—truly a job not for the faint of heart. Talk about a roller coaster. One minute you think you’ve found your dream home, and the next you realize you’d have to mortgage your soul to buy it. The next minute you find what looks like the perfect combination of beauty and view only to find that the next door neighbors enjoy bluegrass at 4000 decibels. Oh, my.  Lesson #2:  Walk the neighborhood a few times.

     We did find our “petit bijou,” however, and we are thrilled. It’s modest, almost new and affordable. We can’t go brag to our friends about the dramatic foyer or the 23 foot ceilings, but we can plan a trip to Europe after we close. It’s all good. . . so far.

     We are on our way home with visions of Inspections and pool boys in our heads. With my biggest performance of the year a week away, it is not easy staying focused and calm. I am reading “Don’t Be Nervous” books and trying to meditate away the room-arrangement-frenzy, but neither seem to be calming in any way. Rule #3:  Do not plan major performance and buy a house in another state the same week.

     We did walk the beach in the sunshine, see a fabulous pre-Broadway play, go out with our friends for dinner and laughs and eat our McD’s lunch under a big moss tree, so life is good.

     How about y’all? What have you been up to while you haven’t had to read my blog?