Sunday, May 15, 2016

                                                     Will Life be a "Beach?"

      As I look at the blank blog page this morning, it makes me think about how I see the next chapter of our lives once we move at the end of June. Every day is a blank page, I know, but when you are making a major life-changing move, be it a new job, a new child, a new home, a new spouse, the positive thing about “blank,” is that the power is in our own hands. I am the one who writes the narrative. I am the one who chooses to fill the page with joy or frustration. I am the one who writes the “to do” list  and determines just how much I want to accomplish or relax in any given day. As a Type A personality, you can guess how many bullets normally surface on my “blank.” I am reminded of something a former lover said to me years ago. He said, “You are always expecting the positive. When that doesn’t happen, you’re all upset and depressed. I believe that life is crap, so anything good that happens is a surprise. With no great expectations, I am never let down.” 

      I remember thinking to myself, “What the hell is that? That’s the most negative and ridiculous way of seeing the world I’ve ever heard.” But you know what? Relative to the above, I’m thinking maybe he’s right. Expect nothing. Do not visualize how wonderful I think the next chapter will be. Suspend the “to do list” for a short time, and just let things happen. Now you Type As out there are certainly squirming in your socks hearing this, but consider it nonetheless. If I expect everything to look, feel and be fabulous in my most positive imagination, and none of it happens, his words will ring true. If I have no expectations, and I just let it all evolve, then some good things will make me happy, and some bad things will make me think, “Yup, this is all part of the process.” 

     How about you? Do you have any major changes coming your way? Have you done the visualization exercise where you imagine it all being perfect? How has that worked for you in the past?