Tuesday, July 19, 2016

     After 830+ blogs in less than three years, it’s hard to believe that there are any topics I have not covered. Alas, there are hundreds left, most of which are either inappropriate, boring or just plain feckless. As I approach my three-year blog anniversary (October, 2016), I feel that I must include all categories, however, so I have decided to include the above categories before I wrap up this three-year cycle. 

     Hmm. Inappropriate. How does one find such a topic? If you read Facebook, there are a myriad of examples. If you read the news, this category may be found on almost every page. If you watch TV, there is hardly much else. So to target a topic in this category that is new and fresh will require some deep pondering over my morning peanut butter.

     Some famous people have pretty much covered this category. Racism, female harassment, outrageous insults—I’ve left that to the Donald. Filthy, disgusting language: many athletes, stand-ups and rappers. Private parts:  numerous commercials from men’s no-stink, no-itch underwear to women’s leaky pipes. Stomach-wrenching emergency room scenes:  Gray’s Anatomy among others. No manners:  there are manner-less folks everywhere, and there is no demographic (Remember the 70-something who stuck his fingers in the dessert tray at our upscale restaurant last week?) Cleavage:  I’m going to get me some of this in my next life. For now, the K family has this covered along with the Oscar stars who no longer tape their gowns to cover their nipples—apparently, nipples are in.

     So, where does that leave me in my quest to discuss the “inappropriate?” I guess I’ll just have to be satisfied with a short list of inappropriate statements and be thankful that most of you cannot comment on this blog.  Here goes.

     1.  How do you feel about Charmin Ultra compared to Cottonelle?
     2.  Did you stop growing arm pit hair after 60?
     3.  Do you think Sharon Stone ever farts?
     4.  Do you ever wish that people who brag would lose a tooth with each statement?
     5.  Would you like to know a scandalous secret about someone you have always admired?
     6.  Would you throw up if your food touched each other?
     7.  Do you wish flossing was acceptable at upscale restaurants?

     I’m sorry, that’s all I can muster at this hour of the morning. If you need to entertain yourself today, just make up your own list. You’d be surprised just how inappropriate we can all be if we set our minds to it.