Thursday, July 14, 2016

     Yesterday afternoon, after our friendly, savvy Frontier tech had spent four hours setting up our TV and wifi systems, he instructed us to sit down so he would explain how to work everything. OMG. Talk about an hilarious senior 15 minutes. He began his obviously well-rehearsed and tedious lecture by attempting to hide his bored sigh which translated, “Here we go with the senior spiel again.” If anyone had taken a photo of the expressions on my and Mr. Wonderful’s faces, they would have shot a movie and sent it into the world’s funniest videos. The tech guy explained everything from pushing this or that to record all, part of, 30 seconds of any given program, explaining that if we wanted to extend the recording past the overtime football game, we could choose between 30 seconds, 45 seconds, 90 minutes or two days. We nodded politely wondering wft he was talking about. How would we know how many minutes of overtime any team would go? It depends on the team, right? For example, the Warriors or the Celtics would probably not have this issue. (I rest that case.)

     Then he explained how to watch a movie. Now it would depend on whether it was a recent movie, a classic, an old TV series or a series that hasn’t even been thought of yet. This explanation fell just short of my Botany professor’s lecture on photosynthesis in 1963. I was thinking to myself, “Maybe TV is over-rated. I think I will just read a book that I hold in my hands.” 

     Then he described all the buttons on the new remote. Oh, joy, the effen remote. This guy is totally clueless talking to me about this thing. Like I’m ever going to get my hands on it. Mr. Wonderful carries it in his shorts most of the time to protect it and keep it clean. He only lets it out of his sight when he is under his sports car polishing the carburetor. 

     Nope, I will not watch TV. Way too much work. I will just reflect about Pokemon and Justice Ginsberg between hard-cover reading.