Tuesday, October 4, 2016


Do you still believe in wishing? How often have you used this word as a full-grown adult? When you say it, do you believe it could happen? Do you pray for things like a 22-inch waist or a Ferrari? Do you believe that if you do really good things that there will be some kind of payback? Hmm. Check out the following wishes, and make a mental list of your own. Good for something to do while you’re fuming in a traffic jam.

May, 2016

-I wish that the squirrel trying to scratch its way through our roof would get bitten by the giant June bug who is hiding under my bed.
-I wish that the people listing their homes $75,000 under ours would realize they’re giving Mr. Wonderful hives.
-I wish someone would come up with a magic formula to erase Crepe.
-I wish that the Fairy Godmaid would show up to clean the house.
-I wish someone would remove Mr. W’s sinuses.
-I wish people would drive over 36 mph on Market Street.
-I wish my bust size would surpass my shoe width.
-I wish someone would pay my bills forward.
-I wish someone would do my push ups for me.
-I wish a tabby kitten would show up in my foyer.
-I wish we had a wine geyser in the backyard.

October, 2016

What a difference a move can make. Here are the answers to the above and my new list of wishes:

-I’m so thrilled that I haven’t seen a damn squirrel for four, count’em four months. Yay.
-I’m so happy I don’t have to worry about selling a house for at least ???
-I am still searching for the Fairy Godmaid. She must have relatives down here somewhere, but they’re probably in a “Home,” not a house. Shucks.
-no comment. Afraid of retaliation.
-I wish that drivers here would realize how happy I am to see them go over 36 mph.
-Nothing’s changed. Mr. Wonderful says he’ll pay for a boob job. Yeah, right.
-Push-ups are over-rated unless their bras.
-I wish I could have one itsy-bitsy glass of wine. Grape withdrawal, going on month 8. Auto-immune diseases suck, even when there are no symptoms except those left by sulfites.

Only one real wish left:  I wish that all my loved ones will have the strength they need to deal with what’s to come and the wisdom it takes to enjoy every blessed healthy minute of each new day.