Monday, October 10, 2016

    









      Ok. I’ve raised the bar on most aspects of my life, but I need your help. I have written over 900 blogs over the past three years. I am poised to write my final book, entitled: Best Of Outrageous Blogs:  Laughter Matters.(Notice the kind of “Job” I’m describing). I am having difficulty deciding what’s “outrageous.” Other than vulgarity, sex and mean-girl stuff, which topics do you consider “outrageous?” That’s a rather ridiculous question in this political climate, I realize, but for “normal” intelligent, sophisticated, educated people, “outrageous” doesn’t have to mean demeaning, cruel, hateful or despicable. If you are a follower and have five extra minutes, it would help me greatly if you could send me the topics I have addressed so I know what people would deem “outrageous.” If, in fact, nothing is outrageous, I am royally funked. I will have to start over from blog #1 and dig me up some serious outrage. Awaiting your kind response at your earliest convenience, I remain “Fifi, la folle.”

     Here is a list of previous ideas. I have yet to pen any of these, so don't y'all be stealin' them.I gotta believe there's a winner in here. I haven't got much time yet, as it takes the big houses years to publish these puppies. 

BOOKS I WANT TO WRITE:

  1. If little girl puppies are so cute, why do they call them bitches?
  2. Who has the guts to write a handbook for men?
  3. Who invented human nature, and where are they now?
  4. Who said that women were supposed to cook?
  5. What joker told husbands that women need two dads?
  6. What arrogant man invented the double oven?
  7. Someone tell Spanx that girdles went out with reel to reel 
  8. Why I will never be as smart as my grandma
  9. When I grow up, I want to be an alcoholic
  10. Life sans cursive
  11. When will quiet and refined be back in style?
  12. Who were the dirty dozen, and what did they write?

BOOKS I HAVE STARTED BUT HAVE BEEN SHELVED DUE TO WRITER’S BLOCK:

  1. From Here to Maternity
  2. The Missin’ Dope
  3. Who’s Afraid of Virginia’s Wolf?
  4. True Grits
  5. A Wedge too Far
  6. To Kill a Tweet
  7. East of Hedon
  8. Return Boy
  9. The Hound and the Furry
  10. Pope and Maury

THE BOOK MY MOM WROTE:

Recipes Without Ingredients