Friday, November 25, 2016

    



















     Did you ever think it was Saturday, and it was really Thursday? All day long, you’re walking around in Saturday. You go to your closet to get ready to go out, and you realize it’s Thursday. Then when Saturday comes, you feel like you’ve already done this day. But you haven’t because it was Thursday when you thought it was Saturday. So now you’re not sure if tomorrow is Friday or Sunday. You are afraid to show up at church just in case it’s Friday, so you don’t go. But then you start feeling guilty, and based on the lack of traffic, you’re now convinced it’s not Friday; it must be Sunday, and you didn't go say your Sunday prayers. You feel ashamed. You think this feels painful, like Monday. You know it’s not Monday though because the alarm didn’t go off. Sometimes, the alarm doesn’t work though, so now you’re questioning clocks as well as calendars. Suddenly, you stop dead. You shake yourself, and say, “Wtf day is it?” Hmm. I think it’s Tuesday. And off you go to the library to pay your fine. Except the sign on the library door says, “Closed for the Holiday.” You don’t know if the holiday was Monday or Wednesday, so you dig your cell out of the cup holder where it’s been charging for a week. Seri is yelling, “You moron. If you have a question, just ask me. Do you even know what day it is?”