Saturday, February 4, 2017

     When I feel weak, I think of my friend who was diagnosed with cancer and told she had less than a year to live. That was over five years ago, and she’s still going strong. She plays tennis, she travels to see her family, she entertains her family, and she worries about not sending thank you notes to those who saw her through it all.  Thank you, Betty.

     When I feel scared, I think of my friend who just had major surgery. She has limes disease. Surgery was an added insult to all she has endured. She posts kind things on my Facebook page. She always finds a way to make it about someone else in a kind and loving way. Thank you, Cathy.

     When I feel discouraged, I think about my aunt who left my alcoholic uncle and traveled alone across the country to start her life all over again. I think about her courage, her strength, her determination. She never gave up. My uncle got sober, and they had several good years together before he died. She never asked for credit or thanks. She just loved unconditionally. Thank you, Aunt Dorothy.

     When I feel alone, I remember that alone and lonely are two different things. I learned years ago that I felt lonely when I was married to the wrong person. Alone time allows me to regenerate, regroup, refocus. A slice of alone is always a cherished part of my day.

     When I feel out of sorts, I know I need to move. I need to physically leave wherever I am and go to a safe, peaceful place where I can walk, run, dance, work out, or simply stare into space. I need to put my mind on “coast.”

     When I feel hopeless, I read the Dali Lama, Brené Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Victor Frankl. Or I watch a video by George Carlin, a movie with Robin Williams or an old episode of Lassie.

     When I am angry, I know that I have a choice. I can stay angry or I can find relief. If I choose the latter, I know that I can diffuse the anger immediately by physical exercise, reading a good book,watching a movie or going shopping. I know angry people. They are angry all the time. They spread negative vibes and are always on the lookout for something or someone to fuel their frustration. Life is too short. Let that shit go. (Thank you Brenda and Rita).

When I put my head on my pillow at the end of the day, I am happiest if I feel all used up. I have done most of what I intended. I have been kind to at least one person (even if that’s only me). I have smelled the fresh air, watched some puffy clouds, made my heart beat faster, eaten healthy meals, avoided toxic people and prayed for strength. I learned this from all the nights I buried my head in my pillow and didn’t appreciate the fact that I had another day ahead to do things better. Thank you, Big Guy.