Wednesday, July 12, 2017

     Only 720 more hits on my blog until I reach 75,000. Wow. Who would have thought that I had this much to say? The incredible thing is that at least one or more people must have read them. What did they think? I have no idea, as the comment button doesn’t work for most readers, I’m told. Is this a good or bad thing? Not sure. It’s bad if all the comments had been positive, but my thin skin would probably have been bloodied, had they been negative.

     So what do we imagine when we say or write something with the intent of someone reading it, and we get no response? When someone doesn’t respond to our emails, do we imagine what they are thinking or second guess why they haven’t replied? When someone doesn’t answer our text, do we imagine a positive or negative response? Is this rejection? Do we personalize and assume it is, or do we just figure, “They’re busy.” If you said something to someone in person, and they didn’t answer you, how would you react? I know, as I lived with that for years with a man of few words. We don’t have the luxury of facial expression or body language on blogs or I-phones, so our reactions come from our imagination. 

     Is it sensitivity or narcissism that makes us think, “What did I do wrong that she is not answering?” Is it that the person at fault is rude, busy or just a procrastinator? Who knows? Life is too short to obsess over such things, but we do it more than we should.

     Since we have moved, most of my friends have been wonderful communicators. I am not a telephone person. I would much rather talk face to face. That’s a luxury I no longer have living in another state, so I must rely on emails and texts in between the occasional long-distance call. When every so often a friend doesn’t respond, I am tempted to think, “I guess they’re not interested anymore.” I no longer do this, however, because it’s self-defeating and usually not true. People get busy, distracted, moody, sick. There are all kinds of reasons that people don’t respond, and taking it personally is just dumb. I am more likely to think now, “I wonder if she is all right?” Sometimes she is not.

     So what’s the point? The point is that in this day and age, it’s better to assume the positive. We have enough negative in this world. Fill yourself with temporary fake joy until you find out the real reason the person hasn’t responded. Just think, if their reasons had nothing to do with you, and they probably didn’t, then you’re en”Joy”ing life in the meantime. Remember, the brain only knows what you put in it. It doesn’t discern between real or fake. So when it feels good, fake it!