Thursday, September 7, 2017

     We have a joke in our house. When we come back from socializing whether it’s dinner out with friends or enjoying a concert at one of our marvelous venues downtown, I always yell, “Last one in her snuggie’s a rotten egg!” Yup. I cast off my stilettos and head right to my snuggie. I will spare you the description, as it is far from pretty, but it’s what I will be wearing for the next few days as we hide in our cave.

      Our prairie dog, “Léon,” has already figured it out. He’s got first dibs on the good pillow. I haven’t used that pillow for quite some time, as I’ve been using my “don’t-smush-the-collagen” pillow for the past few years. I took it with me on our trip out west, and Mr. Wonderful finally couldn’t stand the humiliation of my carrying that drool-stained buddy under my arm any longer, so I threw it away.(I did get some strange looks from the concierges in a few of the five-star venues.)

      Irma is coming. Guess what? She wasn’t invited. She’s supposed to show up whenever she damn-well feels like it on Sunday. I thought the least she could do is text first so I’m not sitting here in my stilettos and snuggie, but the word on the street is that she’s just going to show whenever. Rumor has it that she might just stand us up and stick to the east coast, but we will,undoubtedly, not be that fortunate.

    There are some concerns I have:

  1. Where is she going to send my 20 plants that are nestled neatly in large clay pots? (Hopefully, not into the pool)
  2. Where is she going to fly our grill? (Hopefully, not through the doorwall into my grand piano)
  3. How long is she going to stay? I hate it when people don’t know when to leave.
  4. Is she just a bag of wind or is there more substance to this woman?
  5. What will the frogs do? Will the chorus be compromised?
  6. Who does she think is going to clean up her mess? Certainly not moi. I have better things to do with my time, thankyouverymuch.
  7. Is she bringing a date? I heard something about some Jose character.

     Oh, my. Some people are just plain rude. I’ll bet she won’t even ring the doorbell. She’ll probably just barge right in. 

     She’s not even here yet, and I can’t wait till she leaves.