Monday, November 13, 2017



     A friend of mine just had a head shot taken. It was a great photo, but it took about 10-15 years off her life. Is this a good idea? If you’re marketing yourself (your business, your performance), should you include a photo that makes you look like you just graduated from college, or should you show it like it really is?


     My former music coach was giving a recital last year. She is a wonderful musician and an attractive 60-something. The photo on her flyer showed her at about 30. I laughed, as I thought, “Why would she do that? It almost accentuates the fact that she’s aging.” 

     On the other hand, my beautiful head shot taken last year is more like the lady in situation one. A so-called-not-so-nice friend said when he saw my business card, “Wow. Was that taken in high school?” He thinks he’s funny. I was hurt and annoyed, but guess what? He was almost right. Sometimes the photoshopping is not such a good idea. I’d rather someone say, “Wow! You look so much younger than your picture,” than mutter under her breath, “She’s got some miles on her since this was taken.”

     Such narcissistic dilemmas to face on a Monday morning. Why am I thinking about this at 4:48 a.m.? Because I’m having a photo shoot for my upcoming book, one-woman show and old-lady birthday. I am no spring piglet. I am an immature almost-75-year-old spunky senior whose inner years are pubescent and whose face fell way before its time. 

     The other night, I met a lovely woman to whom I could relate easily. She is full of life, attractive, fit, shapely and a potential friend. Close up, though, it’s apparent that she’s “had some work.” Who hasn’t? I don’t fault her; I support her. Whatever we can do to make ourselves feel good in this youth-obssessed culture is just fine with me. Au contraire, I would be bothered if someone looked at me and thought, “She’s had some work.” 

     How much tugging, pulling, stretching, masking, hiding must we women do to feel good about our aging selves? The fact that I’m even discussing this is sad enough. Men don’t worry about how many wrinkles they have or whether their hair is thinning. If they have a little pouch, people simple say, “That guy obviously likes his beer.” But women? Someone set the bar way too high in the 14th century, and we’ve been tucking and sucking it in ever since. No, Virginia, it is not fair, but it is not going to change anytime soon. So save your pennies for whatever must  be done, and even if you grow out, never grow up!